Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
