Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
