Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
