So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
