You don't have asthma, your pregnant
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
