Non-Jews are for practice
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just had sex on a roof
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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