Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
