This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She told me I should be a condom model.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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