I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
