im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
