He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
should my penis look like a turkey
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
