First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
