Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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