no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
