stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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