Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
