i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
