It's Friday. Sex?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
