She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
