Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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