What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
