when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
