Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
