He is an equal opportunity slut.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
