I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
