well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
