Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
