I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I will be naked everywhere
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If I die, sorry about rent.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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