Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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