Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Naked Twister starts at high noon
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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