Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
