I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
