he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
