She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
