my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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