If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
