Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
