i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Randomize
