youre lurking in front of me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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