If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
