I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
