'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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