I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We need to get me chipped asap
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
