Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
how does that bad decision feel?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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