Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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