dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He told me they were just razor bumps!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
