Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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