The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
