So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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