You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
