You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
