Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
