We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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