Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
