I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
sex in a hospital.. check
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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